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Whoever came up with SERVING SIZES obviously wasn'

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I want to wake up tomorrow to zero news. Nothing.

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Peace, Love and Fuck Trump

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There are bigger problems than boys who kiss boys

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Cowards bow to Trump, Patriots stand up.

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I want to believe in the inherent goodness of huma

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Get up and get going. This day isn't going to fuck

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It was the worst of times, it was the fucking wors

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Stop worrying about what people think. I mean, hav

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DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT

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DRUGS, not hugs. Don't touch me.

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God knows when you don't tip.

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The best thing about being a dog is that there is

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The scenic route. Always.

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Why are white people so afraid of becoming a minor

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What's it called when your dog eats healthier than

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Sorry for the things I said when I was ovulating

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I'm not good at sit ups, pull ups or push ups. I d

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Can't shake this feeling I was meant to do somethi

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Instead of an inner child, I have an inner raccoo

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At my age, I don't sleep. I nap between pee breaks

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I will not rest until my work is done or I get eve

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Time Travel for beginners

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Fun at the farm

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